One of those nights I guess...

So last night I had one of those nights.. The kind that I was just crying frustrated. Of all days right? The day that I write that blog about my cup being half full. I definitely wasn’t thinking that last night! I had let Lar come over to see the kids, and after he left I just broke down. And the funny thing is it really has nothing to do with him. I can’t ever see myself with him again, and I’ve reached a point in fact that sometimes when I see him it’s weird to think we used to be married. I just broke down out of frustration that my family is now broken. I realize that statistically we are “normal”.. but that statistic does NOTHING to make me feel better. The boys have been asking about things a lot more lately too which I think added to my break down. They will ask if he’s coming over that night or why we can’t all live together anymore. The other night Kayden even started crying as he fell asleep because he missed his daddy. It is crushing to me to see my children hurt. Then I was also upset last night because there are still times I just get pissed about being put in this situation of being a single mother. Stuck in a situation where me and my kids are crammed into a tiny apartment. Trust me, I have accepted the fact that this is what it is.. this is my life. But there are still times I get angry about it. And I think I’m allowed that. Luckily, I woke up this morning with dry eyes and realized the sun was coming out again..