TRUE Family

Can I just say how truly and utterly thankful I am to have Larry? Here is this amazing man who since my little Kayden was just 9 months old, took on the role of daddy to him. Had he not come into our lives, who knows what kind of father influence he would have ever had. Never has Larry complained about raising a son that isn't biologically his, or not been willing to help with expenses for a son he didn't have to. It's amazing to me that he is, and always has been, so willing to teach Kayd what life is about. He's been there to kiss booboos better, chase away the monsters, and clean up the puke. He's been there to comfort Kayden when he's been scared and hold him when he's down. He's never looked at him as anything other than his own. And not only that, but he has this amazing family that has loved Kayden since day 1 just as much as they love the rest of the kids. He's never been treated differently, and they've always been just as concerned and worried about him when he's struggling. They've never missed a soccer game or birthday, or done anything to make him feel any less than amazing. I suppose in the big scheme of things, although he doesn't have the donor around or his family, he's been more than blessed to be taken into a family that loves him just as much. Kayden knows nothing other than Larry and his amazing family. It doesn't take away the pain for my little guy when he's struggling with his feelings towards Andy. But I know when he's older and can understand better, he'll see God had a better plan and a better family in mind for him. I had him with Andy because that was God's plan. But with that, he had a bigger picture and better plan lined up. My little man is really struggling lately and that kills me. I want to fix him and heal the broken he feels inside and I know that I can't. But how grateful I am that we have the support of people that have never owed that to us. To have the love and dedication of a family he wasn't born into. I know when Kayd looks back when he's older, he'll feel the same way and be nothing but grateful with how his journey actually turned out. And to me, it means more than you could possibly know that a man & family accepted and loved us both no matter what the circumstances were.

Losing It...

Ya know how sometimes you just lose it?? Yep, this is one of my times. I just got done laughing so hard I was crying and nearly pee'd my pants. And can you guess why? Because of how many people are trying to take my money. Awesomely funny right? Yeah not really. I FINALLY got that crazy woman out of my house last night and how completely ridiculous of me to possibly think that was the end of it. Oh no. Not only did she change the locks on MY house, she went and filed a $7500 lien on my property. Apparently you need zero proof of anything to file a lien on someone's property. You can just go straight down to the court house and do it. So, if someone's really pissed you off lately, no worries, just go lien their shit. On top of that, the attorney who didn't do ANYTHING at all regarding the sale of my house decided to file a $17,000 lien on my property for his work in the sale. Lol... awesome right? He did so much of nothing that we lost our negotiator and have to start at square 1. I keep thinking the end is in site of this cursed house but I keep being proven wrong. I literally am bone dry exhausted emotionally and mentally of dealing with this house. I can't figure out why the universe won't just clear this mess up and close this chapter. Everyone has problems, to that I am very well aware of, but in the last 2 years, I'm pretty sure I've visited hell and back.... TWICE! I just want some relief from this mess and people who planned to scam me, and succeeded. I never thought I'd be the victim of a real estate scam, but it turns out, that's exactly what I was. I never wronged anyone, or stole from anyone, my biggest fault was trusting someone. How funny that a little word like trust has impacted my life in so many ways because I gave it away so easily. I need prayers and happy thoughts because I'm ready to throw my hands up. And some point, there has to be an end right??