#1: Stress Less

So I have decided that it's a new year and it's time to set some goals. There are lots of things I want to accomplish this year and loose ends I want to tie up. At the end of 2011 I posted a blog about feeling like I hadn't come very far but that I knew there were things I had to do on my own to move forward. So, my first goal I'm working on is stressing less. Such a common thing people want right? Everyone I know has stress and wishes it would all just go away. The last couple months that is EXACTLY what I've been saying. When will this all just go away.... but it won't. Things don't magically disappear and rarely do things fix themselves. However, I ran across this picture and it really got me thinking....

I sat and I looked at this picture and a light went off in my head. Probably 90% of the stuff that stresses me out and makes me go crazy will not matter in a year from now. Will my stresses annoy me for a few months? Probably. Will they make me want to pull my hair out? Yes. But, I am the only person who can decide how much time and worry I put into them. The time I'm spending worrying about crap and bullshit is not only taking away from me being present when I'm with my kids, but it's making me crabby so when I'm with them I lose patience quickly. That isn't fair to me or to my kids. My children are only young for a short time. They grow so unbelievably quickly and the time just flies by and before I know it they will be grown. I don't want to miss it or feel like I was crabby the whole time. I want to be fully present in my children's lives every moment that I am spending with them. So often I say how can I be a better mom? And I think this is definitely step 1. What I don't have control of will happen whether I worry about it or not. My worry and stress will not change the outcome of a situation. So from here going forward, I will ask myself that question, will this matter a year from now?? The fact is I am a single mom and it is just me and my kids 90% of the time. If I'm not fully present when we are together then how will they ever feel fulfilled? I want my kids to grow up and say, "Wow... my mom was amazing. She really did a great job despite the hurdles presented to her." So, to all the worries filling my mind and taking away from my family, I big thee well, but you are here by evicted from my head. Au revoir!

Happy Birthday Brooklynn

Brooklynn,

Wow, I can't even believe that 2 years has already gone by since you're arrival. It's definitely been a hectic two years, but how much better and easier it has been on me because you were here in my life. I watch you grow and learn and develop into your own little person and it brings a smile to my face everyday. Seeing you become independent and be a little "general" is a joy you will never know until you are a mother yourself. The excitement you show when I pick you up from school as you happily exclaim that I'm "your momma" warms my heart. I can watch you sleep, and seeing you cozied up in your princess jammies with your blanket, I'm amazed that God chose me to be your mommy. I can tell by your independent take charge personality that you are just like your momma and are bound to grow up into a strong woman. I wish for you my angel, years and years of happiness and that you may accomplish every dream you have. I will always support and love you, but give you enough room to make the mistakes you are bound to make. It is only through those mistakes that you will learn important lessons. I want to always be your best friend and share many memories together while at the same time being your mom when hard decisions need to be made. Princess, I love you more than you will ever fathom and am so grateful to have you in our family. I never knew life could feel as complete as it does until you entered our family. Your brothers and sister adore you so much and you have so many great role models in your life to watch as you grow. I want you to always know that no matter the ups and downs you will have through out your life, and maybe the times you hate me, I will always love you. I will hold your hand when you need me to, and watch from a distance when you don't. Thank you for being my little girl and loving me. When I see you do things to imitate me with your babies or brothers, I know that finally, I am someone's hero. I love you princess. Happy Birthday.