Where's My Backbone??

So recently I have felt so taken advantage of and used. It's been one of those moments I've wanted to avoid actually acknowledging that this person could actually be like that, but I've finally realized that is just the sad reality. The point of helping others isn't to wait for something to come back in return; I'm well aware of that. However, when all you do is give and give and give and help help help and then you need a favor and it is rejected you start to realize what is going on. The frustration I feel is at a boiling point. However, as I learned before, I control me, you control you. I can't control someone else and their actions or feelings. However, I can stand up for myself and say no. It's time for me to own me and what I do and have done. But it's also time for them to own the choices they made to put them in the situation they are in. I didn't choose the path you're on, and I didn't make the choices you made. So why is it I still feel like it's my duty to help you??? Well, this is it... this was my crumbling point. I've gotten sick of it and worn out of being taken advantage of. A lot of times I think my big heart does nothing but get me in trouble. But I've realized that isn't right. My big heart does exactly what it should... love and care. It's my head that gets me into trouble. Sometimes your head has to tell your heart no. It's time for me to look in the mirror and own me for my failures and my accomplishments and it's time you do the same. However, I have no control over whether you will or not, just that it's something I will finally do. I've tried to teach my children an important lesson of loving unconditionally and helping when people need you. But it's also time I teach them what a backbone is. I will make damn sure I don't raise doormats, a daughter who accepts less than perfect, or sons who think women don't deserve 120%. It is my leading by example that will help mold my children into who they are.... Perhaps it's time I remind myself of what a backbone is....being a doormat has gotten old.

Secret to Happiness...

Today one of my good friends asked me how I found happiness again so quickly. "Share your secrets please..." Isn't this a rather common question? What is the secret to happiness? Perhaps it isn't easy to accomplish but it's a rather simple concept... Happiness isn't something you go in search for. It isn't in the next guy, it isn't in a new car or lots of money... it's simply in yourself. I found my happiness by pulling it from inside again. I rid my life of the things that were holding me back and pushed forward. The only way to find happiness is to quit trying to find it. I found the perfect saying the other day, it said if you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace... you are living in the present. And never has a quote spoken to me so strongly. That's what I'm genuinly trying so hard to do right now. Live in the now. What happened, happened and it's done now. What hasn't happened yet hasn't happened, so why stress about what if?  But living in this moment, right now, soaking in every moment for what it is is what is bringing me happiness. Whether its dinners with friends, hugs from my kids, encouragement from my family, I'm living IN every moment. If you continue to try and look for moments to come, how will you ever enjoy the one you are in? The happiness you are "searching" for is here... right now. You just have to look with in rather than continue looking without....