Seriously?!

So right now I'm sitting in a pretty nice hotel room in Houston where I'm working for the next 9 days. I love coming to trade shows and seeing my customers but this time because of my fitness goals I was really stressing about coming. I tried to pump myself up before hand that I'd still work out and everything would be cool and blah blah blah. Well.... I get here and they don't even have a gym. They have a "health and fitness room". Ya that room consists of 2 rickety treadmills, a bike, and an elliptical that doesn't work. No weights. None. Not only that but our hotel is around nothing but a pizza place and Chinese food. I literally called my husband balling my eyes out because I'm so frustrated and terrified of going 9 days without my workouts. My fitness means so much to me and I'm so motivated that a set back like this really has me devastated. Knowing I basically have no access to healthy food and a gym is like crushing my brain. Am I going to gain weight? Am I going to lose muscle definition? Am I going to lose my motivation? All these questions keep buzzing through my head. I get that there's not much in my control here and I have to accept it for what it is until next Thursday but it's such a mind fuck. I have been doing some circuits in my room and making the best of the broken elliptical but I just can't get my heart rate where I want it. My mom reminded me that I'm at a much lower elevation so it IS going to be harder to achieve that heart rate but that makes it even more frustrating because I have nothing available to help me do that. I know you might read this and think "what a stupid thing to be so upset about" but I've never wanted anything so bad in my life like I want to reach my fitness goals. This means more to me than finishing school even meant. I don't know I guess all I can do is keep on keeping on while I'm here and make the gym my first stop on my way home from the airport. Pray for me that I don't lose my mind while I'm here because I doubt Houston accepts my insurance.

Mommas Gettin Fit

 So I just have to tell you, I have THEE most supportive family ever when it comes to reaching my fitness goals. My husband is so amazing taking care of the kids every night so I can get my workouts in. He's my biggest cheerleader and is always telling me how great I'm doing. When I'm feeling frustrated he reminds me that this is a process and I'll get there to just keep getting it done. So I wear a polar watch that tracks my workouts, length of time, calories burned, heart rate, etc. My sweet boys know how I get excited to see the calories I burned during my workout and last night when I got home Kyler ran up to me and said, "Mommy how many did you get?!?" so I showed him and said, "Look mom hit 734!!!" and he gave me a high five and said "Great job mom!!! You're getting buff!" Then Kayden comes in and says "Next time you go in there flex your arm like this and kiss your muscle and say Ha Ha ladies check these bad boys out!" It is the best feeling knowing I have these 2 boys pumping me up everyday. Having a great support system in this fitness journey is the biggest help ever. Knowing that I'm making my boys and husband proud of me feels great. Ya know, if you had asked me 4 months ago I'd have just said I want to get skinny again. But today... no. I'm not doing this to get skinny. I'm doing this to get fit. I'm doing this so I can kiss my biceps and say, "Check these bad boys out." Hitting 734 calories last night was the best feeling ever. For the last week I've wanted to hit 700 so bad. I've been between 635-665 and to not only hit my goal, but pass it felt amazing. This is a slow process, it's a slow journey, but knowing I'm doing it the right way motivates me more and more everyday. I'm down 12 lbs and that's pretty damn good! You see those hot fit moms with 4 kids with incredible bodies and all the other moms hate them. Well I've decided... I can't wait to be hated ;)

Happy New Year... And all that other shit

  Okay it's now officially 2014 and everyone continues to remind us so... Happy New Year. No really, I hope this year brings everyone health, happiness, and prosperity. But that's not actually why I'm posting. And to be legit, this is probably going to be a really boring post and nothing inspirational like most of my followers expect. It's more of me just rambling about shit because I realized I need to.

Okay, so back in November I decided that school's done and I was bored as shit. So being the impulsive person that I am, I randomly decided one night while laying in bed that I was going to change my life. And by change my life I actually mean my body. After the hubs and I got back together I gained weight. Not blaming him because it's legit my fault that I ate the same way he did, but, it doesn't help that he eats Mcdonalds like every. single. day. So of course I started eating like he did. Him being the sextastic machine that he is, he doesn't gain a single pound so I took it upon myself to gain enough for both of us. Which p.s. isn't a good look for me. Ok so back to November, lying in bed one night I have this crazy idea that from now on, I'm gonna eat clean and train mean. Next day, I contacted a trainer, got my shit signed up, and started on this crazy fitness journey. (the trainer and I are no longer working together but he taught me some awesome shit that has helped mold my path) As of the last time I weighed in, I was down 12 lbs. Which is awesome don't get me wrong! Totally stoked on it. However, I'm a chick and us chicks really love this thing called "instant gratification". I get frustrated when I'm not dropping the lb's like I did going through the epic (and incredibly effective) divorce diet. Which brings me to the last couple days... I've decided I have to retrain my brain into not worrying so much about the number, but rather on the big picture. Obviously, a lower number would be fan-f*cking-tastic (sorry for the cuss words grams) but what I actually want is to see my body parts transform into epic awesomeness. There is a certain way I want my arms to look. And my legs, my tummy, and my back. This journey can't be about a number otherwise I'll hit it and then brush my hands off and be like, "well, that was cool". This has to just be a lifestyle and a new way of living. I already only weigh myself every couple of weeks because I don't want to get obsessed with that scale, but I do still get frustrated that I can't see my muscles bulging out of my arms yet. However, I do remind myself and remember that although my results aren't instantly visual, the change is there working inside my body. I keep this photo album in my phone called motivation and keep tons of fitness motivation pics in it and my favorite one says " It's a slow process, don't make it slower by quitting." I'm not going to see these incredible results tomorrow, but in 3,4,6 months I will. So I continue to eat clean and I continue to hit that gym every night and I work and wait for the transformation I'm aiming for. I'm not doing this for anyone but myself (although the hubs does benefit ;) bow chica wow wow) so there is no rush. I can learn to be patient. I'll keep working hard and staying motivated and I'll get there. One protein shake, squat, and sit up at a time... I. will. get. there.

P.S. I will probably post about this shit a lot because it is on my mind a lot. Totally understand if you don't want to read it, but being as this is MY blog, I can do whatever I want :) (totally kidding of course. I love when you all tell me how much you love my blog.)