Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I don’t even know how to start this... other than I give up trying to please everyone. No matter how hard I try, some people are just never going to be proud of me. No matter how much strength I show, or accomplishments that I myself accomplish, it will just never be good enough. I suppose I should stop trying. Maybe from now on I should just concentrate on being proud of myself. I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells around SOMEONE... And I’m really sick of feeling like that. I deleted facebook today. I hate feeling like I’m being babysat or like I need to be careful of what I say because I don’t want to piss people off. I wonder if those people I’m talking about ever sat back and thought about how much reason I have to say the things I do? I just sort of give up; I want to be happy now. I don’t want to be the same place in a year that I am in now. I want to be at a place where if someone is trying to make me feel like crap, they don’t succeed. I don’t like letting other people make me feel 2 inches tall. And if they are, it’s because I am LETTING THEM. Sometimes I wish I could remove my heart from the situation. Any situation... I think that having a big heart can be just as big of a weakness as it can a positive trait. It’s funny how hypocritical people can be and even when I KNOW that, I still feel bad. I hope today is just one of those days that isn’t as good as others. I hope tomorrow the sun shines and I feel better...
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I'm proud of you! Not just for how strong you are & how much you've endured this last year... but you're "growing up" if you will... you're acknowledging that NO ONE but YOU is responsible for how you feel. People can do & say things but your reaction & how you allow yourself to feel/act because of it is completely on you. It is easier to blame others for your feelings. It takes a strong person to stand up & realize that only they themselves are to “blame”! (Remember, feelings are not right or wrong & you are not wrong to be you.)
ReplyDeleteYou are no longer for settling for what is comfortable or what you’ve known. You are no longer willing to be a doormat when that is the easiest path to take. You are amazing Chelsea!
You have been there for me when ever I've needed you from the moment we met & I thank the friend god’s for giving you to me!!!!