Here 2010 is wrapping up in the last couple weeks of December. And how glad I am that it is almost gone. 2010 has undoubtedly been the hardest year of my life. Besides the birth of my daughter, not much good has happened. It's been one storm after another. And here I am, almost a year later, feeling like I wish I was as strong as everyone thinks I am. Change has to happen and I have to be stronger now than ever. I've held onto so much that needed to be let go so long ago, and it has held me back from moving forward. That hasn't been fair to me, and it hasn't been fair to people I've met. However, I'm ready to move forward and not look back ever again. Tomorrow is the day Andy gets out and I need strength now more than ever before. The last thing I want is to be vulnerable to anyone. I want to be strong and confident and honest from here on out. I am no longer holding back because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Its about time I start caring about my own feelings. I'm gonna be selfish and I am going to do what makes ME happy. I sit here and say how tired I am of how my life has gone this year but at the same time who else can change that but me? I need to quit being so scared and running from things and people who could be really great for me. I need to finally take care of myself. And as my friend told me today, once I do that, the rest will fall into place. I don't want to come up with excuses anymore for ANYTHING. As strong as everyone thinks I've been, I've also been incredibly weak and naive. And admitting that is embarrassing. 2011 is a new start for me. A new start for my kids. I want them to see their mom happy. And forward is the only direction to go to get there....It's time for me to blossom....
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