Emotional Overload

     Well, he's out. Officially. I took Kayden to see him last night and hung out for a little bit to make sure Kayd adjusted okay. What an emotional overload this week has been. It is so clear that he has definitely been in prison. You can tell he adjusted to that lifestyle to survive. I left crying last night because it was so emotional. I haven't seen him in over a year and I don't know how I thought I'd react. I knew he would be Andy. But sometimes it sucks when you get exactly what you expected. It was so sad to me because I really do think he will go back. I don't think he's learned yet. It's crushing to me to know this is ALWAYS Kayden's dad. I'm just drained right now.... Then to get chewed out by the other one and told " you just don't listen!!" Well I wonder when he'll get that I don't need to be told what to do. I'm not asking for advice. Sometimes I just need someone to listen to me. I guess that is where this blog comes in to play. It won't yell at me or tell me I'm stupid or how I just don't get it. It will just let me write it out and feel better when I'm done. It just seems like so much has happened lately in such a short amount of time that I'm just emotionally exhausted. I have soooooooooooo many wonderful friends, but right now I feel really alone. No one can really understand how I'm feeling. My sadness, my fears, my worries. Only I know.... and it is really lonely. Maybe this is just what I need right now though... to be alone and work through my thoughts. I really am ready for things to slow down in my life and just be boring for awhile. All I know is my kids are my everything and its so hard to see all that they have gone through. It's even harder when you know there are somethings you just can't protect them from. You can only be there for them to pick them up when they fall.