It is definitely safe to say that I am most certainly my own worst enemy. I quite often create my own misery, and even more often, destroy my own potential happiness? What has happened in the last few months that has made me put myself back in this position? Perhaps my own soul searching has yet to be finished, or even more, maybe I never started as I thought I had. I tell myself that there is no going forward as long as I'm looking backwards. I will never get different results if I continue doing the same things day after day. I don't particularly care for boring routine day after day. I want excitement, and I want new, and I want different. However, it seems that when I get that, I find reasons as to why I no longer want it. I wonder if from now on I should just quit listening to myself? Perhaps all along I've been taking the wrong advice in listening to the voice inside. Maybe now is the perfect time to tell that voice to shut it, and step outside of my comfort zone. Once in awhile if I just stop and listen I hear the answers loud and clear. But I spend so much time trying to decipher every little aspect of the answer that I miss the whole point entirely. I don't want perfect, but I also don't want something that isn't there to begin with. It gets old going in circles round and round...I want to no longer be in the eye of every storm, but rather on the outskirts just observing. Maybe that's the real answer after all... looking in as if watching a movie, rather than being the star.... Perhaps that's when clarity comes, when you become the observer instead of the observed.
Feeling Tonight: Frustrated
Feeling Tonight: Frustrated
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