As much as I feel like I'm back to square one, starting the long road again that I felt I had already conquered, I'm beginning to wonder if this is exactly what I NEEDED to have happen. The last year and a half has been more of a divorce on paper, but not in actuality. We've always been together, hanging out, being a family, etc. The divorce was in ink.... but not actually present. I'm obviously very sad that I had to make the decision I did and hope absolutely NOTHING but the very best for him, but I think this is exactly what I needed to finally decide it's time to move on. We've talked a lot and we are still getting along really great. We just both know this is what has to happen. I think this was the final push I needed to realize it's never gonna happen. This time though I have to do it right. No hanging out or calling and texting each other everyday.... just time to heal. As much as I can't imagine right now ever falling out of love with him, I do believe that time does heal all wounds and one day I will be okay. Do I think I'll ever completely stop loving him? No... But I do think it will get easier with time if I just do it right this time. I believe we will be there for each other in desperate times but I know that for now, all I need is space.... I will need my friends close once again to hold me up and support me. I pray that they haven't had enough and just want to walk away. I guess I know in my heart though that those who are true and love me will be there no matter what...
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