You'd think you would learn your lesson the first time.... Guess not. I guess sometimes no matter what you've been through or how far you've come, when love is involved falling backwards is always a possibility. I guess I feel ashamed for even being in this position. Shouldn't I have remembered? Shouldn't I have been stronger? I guess there's a million shouldn'ts or what if's I could ask myself but they don't change the present or the past. All I can do is pick myself back up and start at it again. This is what life's about though right? Learning lessons... Although even that seems like a stupid excuse for what I've done since I should have learned the first time. Maybe it's time like Crystal said to go back through this blog and find inspiration in myself. I did it once I can do it again right?? My life has become a mess and I've let so many things go and it's all my own fault. Backwards is the one direction I hate going yet I did it... So what exactly do I do now? It would seem the answer is clear to pick things back up and start again... but I'm worn out. I'm exhausted of cleaning up messes. I know it's not like me to say this because I've become so independent, but right now I wish someone else would pick me up and clean it all up for me. Oh well though, that's all wishful thinking. Only I know what to do and I just have to hope my friends are still there beside me getting through it once again. 
No comments:
Post a Comment