Hope...

You may wonder what that is.... This.. is hope. Ya see, Kayden made this little snowglobe type thing at school the other day and loved it so much. To him, it was something special. When he brought it home I thought it was cute but that was about it and didn't give it much more thought. Until tonight... Tonight Kayd saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. At this point, I didn't know if it was better to lie and act like nothing was wrong or simply tell the truth. I decided that it was just best to tell him the truth knowing that more than likely, he'd be who would make me feel better. "What's wrong momma? Why are you sad?" he asked. "I miss daddy. It's just kind of hard on me." He scrimaged around for a minute and pulled out this special project that he loved so much. "Mom, I know it's hard for you. But I want you to have this... when you get sad and are missing dad, pretend he's this little seashell and keep it in your purse. When you are missing him just a little pull it out and remember he's still there." Now, if I wasn't crying enough as it was, this pushed it to niagra falls level. My son is so wise beyond his years sometimes I can't believe it's really him speaking. I held this little thing close for a reason other than he suggested. I realized looking at this little shell that what my son had really just given me was hope... And that really, he's the little one in this jar when I'm feeling a bit sad. How could I have forgotten that through the hardest times it's my children that will actually pull me through. People have said to me to not worry about the kids, they will be fine they are resiliant. To just try and worry about healing myself right now. But it's actually these kids who will help me heal. This tiny little shell in this cute little project I once thought nothing of, has become the little bottle of hope I will carry around. Things will be ok... it just took a 6 year old to put that in perspective for me.