All Because of a Door...

  After the boys soccer games this morning I wasn't sure just what exactly I was going to do with myself. I haven't had an entire day to myself, with nothing planned in I don't even know how long. So I called my Grandma, got lots of love from her and decided I would try and tackle some things around the house. I got some solar lights and lined my cute little driveway with them and decided to try and paint my front door. My dad had told me he would do it but I just wanted to prove to myself I could. After one coat, I stood back and just started crying. It's incredible how emotions can come out in the smallest thing. Standing back, looking at my little house made me realize just how far I've come. I am so incredibly proud of myself and this journey I've traveled. Painting a door seems like such a simple task, but doing it myself without help was a big thing for me. I've learned to do things that I never thought I would. I've become this independent woman that I didn't know I could be. A door... brought me to tears. These emotions of joy and pride are filling my body and it feels great. I also mowed my lawn, something I've never done and although it sucked, it felt amazing to do it myself. I've been so blessed all my life with an amazing dad and a husband that took great care of me. They both always made sure I didn't have to tackle physical things and they would handle them for me. However, knowing now that I can and AM doing things independently is a feeling like none other. I sit and look at this little house I've made into our home and I realize that it's all because of me...no one else. I am learning and tackling one new thing at a time and every time I do it feels great. I've learned such a big lesson in life.... independence. I truly feel that when love finally finds me again it will be so much better than before because I'm an independent woman choosing and wanting it, not needing it. No matter what direction life takes me from this point forward, I will never fall again. I can do it.... and I have... and I will continue... And it feels amazing. Having love from someone else is amazing. And losing it hurts... but learning to love yourself is better than anything. I am Chelsea f*ckin Carson. Hear me roar....

Feeling Today: Proud