Fresh Start

 So 3 weeks ago Kayden got to go on his first visit with his grandparents in 2 years. Followed by a breakfast and fun day at their house on Saturday. I was quite anxious the first time and it got a little bit better on Saturday. This is a fresh start for Kayden and his family and I'm so excited for my son that he gets to rebuild these relationships. Our past and our issues should not come in the way of him having the relationships that he rightfully deserves. Lots of friends of mine have said, "You're a better person than I am because I just couldn't do it. Not after all the crap they've done." I suppose though one of my strengths/weaknesses is that I am a very very forgiving person. At times it has really benefitted me and at times it's really hurt me. But in a time like this, what they've done to me doesn't matter. This isn't ME rebuilding a relationship with them, it's my son rebuilding a relationship with them. I don't know where this will go and if eventually it will turn sour again. However, I do know that seeing my son's smile when he gets home and how excited he is to tell me about his time is the reassurance I need at this time. Sometimes it is so hard for people to put aside the drama from the past to move forward in the future. So frequently we forget that events from our pasts are what have made us grow. If you choose not to move forward you'll idle forever. I guess sometimes it's best to tear the whole garden out and plant new seeds to see what grows. There will be weeds that grow and flowers that die, but what survives is the true beauty of all the work.