If it's meant to be... it will be.

   Well, the conversation happened. It was awkward and nerve racking... but it happened. Much to my surprise, it went rather well. We both agree that positivity from here on out is the only option. That it is time to sweep old drama under the rug and focus on moving forward for Kayden. After the conversation I really felt like both of us, being mothers, could understand each other completely for the decisions we've had to make in the past. Both of us made decisions because we are mothers trying to protect our babies. Her's is 30, mine is 6. Despite the ages, we are both still mothers. I really felt positive after hanging up like maybe things will actually go good now. We can really just move on and be adults. We finished the call with her talking to Rich and getting back with me on what they wanted to do. Well, the next day I got a text from her saying that Rich wanted a few more days to think about talking to me because he is having a hard time moving on from what I'VE done and that he doesn't think it will ever change. But "don't lose hope", she said. Wow... from what I've done... Hmmmm I decided at that point, ya know, you're completely right... it will never change. If ALL the adults in the situation can't move forward together with a common goal of Kayden in mind, you're absolutely right... it will never change. And for ME to not lose hope?? Are you guys doing ME some kind of favor?? Interesting.... Well A. YOU aren't doing ME any favors. And doing this for the sole reason I chose to, I'm not doing YOU a favor either. I'm doing, was doing, what I thought was best for my son. I was doing it for him and only him. But ya know, I tried. I really really tried to make things positive for Kayden so he could have his entire family in his life. The choices they make on accepting the olive branch or not are theirs and theirs to own. I can control myself and only doing what I feel is right in my heart. Just as I have to live with mine, they have to live with the decisions they make. At some point in time, I truly do hope that everyone can just grow up and do what's best for my little man. It may not be a realistic hope, but it is a hope. I will continue to support my son and show him that he does have family that is constant and will always be constant. I will never face a day where he says "Why didn't you even try mom?" because he'll know I did. He'll know that he's always been the #1 focus. My little man.... you keep standing tall like your mommas taught you. Never doubt how much you are loved or if things are your fault. You are incredible beyond all measures. You are loved deeper than you can possibly realize. For every moment you get sad or angry, you just remember our song..."lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you." Mommy is here, and never going anywhere. Love you baby.