Inspire

Inspire: In-spire, verb : to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration.

Quite the word. Over the past couple months I have heard this word a lot but today I stopped and listened. It's funny that during this period in my life I have leaned on friends and family. For strength, courage, and hope. Yet it seems, they have leaned back for the same thing. I've been told quite a few times now that I have helped other people by going through what I'm going through. During the times my friends have helped me, apparently I have helped them in return and not even known it. Then today, the word Inspire was said to me. " You inspire me." Not you've helped me, but you've inspire me. What a word. And according to the definition, QUITE the word. I started this blog for somewhere to write down the thoughts that I was so scared to admit. But at the same time actually hoping people would read it and listen. I started it at a time when I had so much to say but no one I felt I could say it to. I was scared to put myself out there and be raw and real, but I did. And apparently, that was a good thing. To be told I am inspiring people by my words and my actions actually inspires me. Writing this blog has helped me so much. Helped me get some of the words out I wanted to scream but just couldn't. I put myself out there for everyone to watch bleed and heal. And because of that, my scars are healing. Like I said yesterday, I don't feel complete. But I am healing. And to know that in the process of that, in the process of leaning on so many people to keep from falling over, they've leaned back. And I in return, have held someone else up. I said before, I keep being told everything happens for a reason... And maybe part of the reason this happened to me was so that I could help others heal as well. I'm an amazingly strong person and to that I will own. I won't toot my own horn, but I am what I am. I have survived. I am now that woman who when the next challenge comes along I can say, I've conquored before, I will do it again. Change is scary, and starting new can be plain terrifying. But one of my favorite quotes is " You can never cross the ocean, until you have the courage to lose site of the shore." Christopher Columbus. I've started on a new path. I don't know where I will end up, or the many more hurdles I will jump, but I know now that no matter what comes along, I will get through it. With good hair and fresh makeup ;) Good night friends.

"In three words I can sum up what I've learned about life: It goes on..." Robert Frost